nothing else seems to matter. nothing else, no one else. even being friends with someone I used to hate doesn't bother me at all. I don't even feel anything at all now. even when I know someone's being real and good to me, I can't give anything in return. was it because I'm not ready for him, or simply because I've lost the ability to feel? I haven't felt such a strong urge to pack up and run away to a foreign place before. a desire so strong that did not even happen when I broke up with ephraim. so strong that I'm pretty determined to take a gap year from my life, from everyone, from everything. if not for that loan I'm carrying, I would be gone.
gap year trip in 2 years time, if I still can't find back my ability to feel.
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