I keep hoping that this is just a dream. he told me he really hopes im his last gf. how can it be that i don't understand the person who has been telling me he loves me everyday for the past 4 months? if he really loved me, he would've done something already. if he really loved me, how can he do without me? it just makes me feel worst everyday knowing that I'm so dispensable to someone. I must be really really really bad.
it's not like what he said 'maybe we are not ready for each other yet'. I feel so stupid. I have been stupid for the past 4 months, showing off how happy I was and how much he loved me.
I swear I won't be so gullible the next time round. even if the guy tells me he loves me every night before i sleep, it means nothing. like what jack says, 'talk is not even cheap, it's free'.
everyday a small voice inside tells me 'he loved you. he loves you. he just dont know what to do now'. while another voice shouts back 'wake up! if he really loved you, why isn't he texting you? why? stop being so cheap and wake up. there are many ppl who cares about you!'
I've learnt my lessons. evan was right from the start when she said 'dont trust guys too much'.
I seriously don't have that many 5 years. and if he doesn't text me at all, all the more he doesn't deserves me wasting 5 years on him.
I keep telling myself that I have to be strong for those who loves me. but the moment I get reminded of how dispensable I am, I just feel damn worthless and that I must be a very very bad and flawed person. otherwise, how could he just let me go like this?
so what even if I slapped myself awake? I need a getaway. I need a guy to tell me that I'm not that bad, not a friend. I want to stop crying everytime I feel inferior.
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